Random Tuesday Thoughts- Its actually not tuesday here, but in the States it is so HURRAY!!

Well another tuesday come and gone.

I had to work all weekend. I'm so so so happy to have a job, but its a soul-crushing job. I did this stuff at 15. Why am I doing the same shit at 25? Starting all over NOT for the win. (and YES YES i KNOW im young, i got it, but still, sigh. )

Ok- so im starting to lose my accent. I know I am. I've kinda been dreading this. I'm using more phrases and slang here. I can tell my voice is raising up more. I can feel the changes when I'm talking and I cant seem to stop it. Its annoying but also a relief. I am so sick of being different. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of being an american and where I'm from. I miss home like crazy, and I am constantly comparing Ireland and the US.

BUT

I am so SICK of being asked where are you from, why are you here, and hearing that YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE MARRIED. Yes, Damnit. I am 25. But I am NOT too young to be married. (in Ireland the average age of marriage is in the early 30's where in the states its early to mid 20's.) and Seriously, i just want to fit in. I just want to be part of the crowd. Its hard for me sometimes cause America doesn't have the best reputation overseas. American tourists are seen as loud, over the top and generally obnoxious. People here see america as gluttonous, greedy, assholeish, and intrusive. It's hard some days to be an American here. And everyone has an opinion. Its hard to be neutral sometimes. Its hard to be defensive. And everyone has a million questions. I'm getting very tired of it. I just want to have a night out where no one thinks of me as "the American" and instead as part of the crowd. Its really been wearing on me lately. And its not me wanting to be not who I am at all, its just I want to be on equal playing ground. I know its never really going to happen and I know over time it will lessen, but still- I just want one day where I don't have to explain or reason or justify something that I have NOTHING to do with.

So today I got a free Brazilian wax. My friend Lisa texted me about it. Her friend works at the most exclusive beauty salon in town and they are training several waxers in bikini, Brazilian and "hollywood" waxing. (in the states Brazilian is everything hairless- here Brazilian is with a landing strip and "hollywood" is no hair) So I thought hell yeah that waxing is about 90 euro I'll squeeze that in! I went and man oh man it was painful. Ive had that kind of waxing before, but it was a different kind of wax they used and a different method and it was much less painful. This was kind of an old school method. Basically regular wax and linen strips. And jesus it hurt. I am bruised and I bled almost everywhere they took hair off. owie. Yes I know, this is probably TMI, but I'm going to type it out anyways. Sorry for any offense. Anyways, the weirdest part of it all was that my waxer, who was lovely, was still in training. So while im there on the table, with my knees up to my chest and my backside out to the world, her manager walks in and they are pulling and prodding me at all of the most awkward angles ever talking about how this looks and how to stretch my skin the best way and ect. It was a unique experience to say the least, but hey it was free. And the el cheapo in me was happy about that.

I got my first blogging award ever. I have my friend Whitney to thank for that. Go read her blog: Let the good times roll. She is hilarious. I've known her since we have both been about twelve years old and she has always been an amazing girl. She now has a super cute baby and is figuring out how in the world to get around NYC. And being from southern virginia?? Talk about culture shock!! I'm so flattered to get this award but I have no clue how to put it on this blog.....so um help!! Thanks :)

I have been having driving lessons. With my mother-in-law. We decided to test the boundaries of the mother in law- daughter in law relationship. Now I know how to drive, but I dont know how to drive stick shift. We have been doing lessons every single day for about a week and I'm getting pretty good. And Ive only freaked her out once. Score for me! the hardest part is going from a complete stop to balancing the clutch and going into gear. We spent the entire hour today just going from stop to start. I actually was getting it every single time and shifting gears completely smoothly! thats a huge advance for me! You should have seen me before- i was freaking myself out. The gas petals on stick shifts cars are so much more sensitive than on automatic cars and I was so timid with the gas before. It led to a lot of lurching and car stalling. James was with us one day and I actually made him a little sick and he had to sit out of the car the rest of the lesson haha! But now the next task is learning how to drive on the wrong side of the road. Talk about screwing with your mind mentally. I keep on wanting to take a "soft right" which is taking the right into the flow of traffic. Here its a "soft left" and intersections and round-a-bouts are still confusing. fingers crossed I don't drive head on into traffic. (eep!)

So last week after work my boss and I, who are good friends took a taxi into town together. It was another good friends birthday. The bar that they were all in was on my street ( of course!! they are all on my street. ugh) and so we went right there after work and I said I would go in for a drink and go home and collapse. I got out of the car and was introduced to some people I hadn't met. My friend, Murph, introduced me and then said this is James' wife. Then there was this huge reaction- these guys happened to be old school friends with my husband. They had no clue he was married. (ok see the thing about Limerick is- its a city, but really a small town and everyone knows everyone else somehow or they are related somehow) One of these guys- they call him Forde (pronounced 4-D) is actually James' cousin- so by proxy my cousin. Had no clue (his family is HUGE) and he was nice to me. to my face. and another guy Choc (short for chocolate- no clue why) was a complete ass. Automatically starting talking crap about james and me to my face! I couldn't believe it. It was so uncalled for and rude and very "un-irish". totally out of social norms. I was immediately enraged. I am pretty laid back in social settings, but you offend me and mine the "momma bear" in me comes out. I was going to stay for one pint, but after that I knew that it would be no good if I did. So instead I confronted these guys, said my piece and went home. I know that I don't understand all of the history they have as school mates or growing up in the same town, but still. I think I still have a lot to learn about this city and these people. But these guys, at least one in particular, is on my bad list. I havn't finished with him- he will hear exactly what I think and why and when I'm done I know I won't have to worry about him anymore. There is one thing about me- I'm nice as can be, but when angry Rachael comes out its something that you never want to see twice. My sister can definitely vouch for that.

I'm having a few glasses of wine as I write this- probably as you can tell. Drinking really brings the conversational whiny part of myself. I am always second guessing myself after a night of drinking. I feel like I've annoyed everyone and embarrassed myself somehow. Sigh. Its unavoidable here though. Everything centers around drinking- baby is born- lets have drinks, someone graduates-drink! Someone gets a job, moves house,runs a marathon, has a birthday, there is a made up holiday- drink, drink drink!! there is no dating here- they meet up at pubs instead. This is a total pub culture. And I have to say if you don't drink it will be a lot harder to integrate into the society here. Its just the way it is. And thats not good or bad, its just how it is. Somewhat weird to me, but normal here.

I have to work tomorrow on my day off, and even though I don't want to go in, its more money! so yay- boo, but yay.

Weight watchers is going good, but I didn't lose as much as I wanted to when I weighed in last week. I'm hoping this week is better. I do enjoy basically eating what I want to though.

Alright this post may have not been that random, possibly very rambling though. I'm headed to bed though. I will be better at blogging next week-no empty promises! (I think!)