Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Theres a first time for everything...

So today I woke early after a late night (it may or may not have included season 3 of dog the bounty hunter. don't judge.) with anticipation. I had my very first spray tan scheduled this morning!

Now being a woman after a certain amount of time you get used to putting yourself in situations that in normal circumstances would be MORTIFYING all in the name of beauty. I quickly found out that getting a spray tan falls into this set of circumstances.

I was told when I booked my appointment that disposable underwear was provided for you so you dont have to worry about your own getting ruined. I thought great! It will still be somewhat modest enough that my no-no bits will be covered and I wont feel so weird. Well, yes there was underwear provided. kinda. It was pretty much a piece of paper, with string. thats about it. For some reason I was expecting some sort of cover for my chest as well. I dont know why I thought this, but I did.

Anyways, the girl walked me into a small room- basically a little shower room with no shower and a door. She told me to put on the hair cap and the "underwear" and she would be back with the sprayer. So I stood there- awkwardly- staring at the wall (not even a distracting picture to look at) in my little piece of paper and nothing else. I was definitely feeling more than a little embarrassed.

Well so the girl came in and instructed me how to stand and began to spray and holy crap that stuff is COLD. Its like getting a high pressure ice bath...I dont know how those moms on toddlers and tiaras can make their kids go through this! After she was done spraying (two coats people..I'm pretty pale.) I was instructed to stand there and dry. Don't touch anything- including myself. So I stood there...covered in icy cold spray tan, arms held away from my body with nothing on but a piece of paper, staring at a wall. It was probably only about 10 minutes I was left to stand there and dry but I swear it felt like an hour. A long, cold, lack of clothing hour.

Then she came back in to "inspect" (seriously just what I wanted at that moment, a close up) the tan to make sure it was mostly dry and told me I could get dressed (whoo hoo!). It was a pretty uncomfortable experience. I know that these people do spray tans all of the time and see pretty much everything so I try to keep that in mind. It keeps me from being completely humiliated. But I swear if I ran into her in public I would definitely turn around and walk the other way as fast as possible. I would much rather pretend that she exists in another reality where she only does spray tans and doesn't remember what you look like naked and you will never ever run into her in public. ever.

So to wrap all of this up- was it worth it to get the spray tan? eehhh 50/50. I like my legs having a color to them and I will be happy to not be paper white on the cruise- but I really didn't like the process of getting the tan. Maybe I'll make my mind up whether to get another one or not after I see how quickly it fades.

(oh and also I can't shower the sticky spray stuff until tonight or tomorrow morning...having to work tonight not so fun. I'm looking a little splotchy and my shirt is stuck to my back. that definitely goes on the lesson learned/con side.)