A couple of month ago I was asked to share an experience about something that happened to me.
It's something that I'm not sure I really want to divulge on here, and I won't. I don't think I'm ready really.
I took about 2 1/2 months to actually sit down and write out a detailed account of what happened and how it has affected me. I've just finished the email and sent it out.
I feel so angry. So angry that after all of this time I'm still so upset, so angry. and so angry that I might always feel this way. I wish I knew how to detach myself more, but I don't think I have that kind of money for the amount of therapy needed.
But what I find strange is that I am able to email a perfect stranger these very intimate details about my life. Things that I would NEVER tell a friend or even talk about with family or in-laws. It feels safer in a way. There is a sense of freedom in anonymity.
I am a very open person, extremely sociable and very talkative. But there are some things I never share- I keep them locked away, deep down. Ignore that door, try and lose the key. No matter how hard I try though, they are always waiting for me. In the same place, the same memories and the same feelings.
It makes me think sometimes, I wonder what someone else is keeping locked away.
I just hope that my sharing helps someone else. Theres a reason for everything right?