Monday, August 1, 2011

Secret compartments

A couple of month ago I was asked to share an experience about something that happened to me.

It's something that I'm not sure I really want to divulge on here, and I won't. I don't think I'm ready really.

I took about 2 1/2 months to actually sit down and write out a detailed account of what happened and how it has affected me. I've just finished the email and sent it out.

I feel so angry. So angry that after all of this time I'm still so upset, so angry. and so angry that I might always feel this way. I wish I knew how to detach myself more, but I don't think I have that kind of money for the amount of therapy needed.

But what I find strange is that I am able to email a perfect stranger these very intimate details about my life. Things that I would NEVER tell a friend or even talk about with family or in-laws. It feels safer in a way. There is a sense of freedom in anonymity.

I am a very open person, extremely sociable and very talkative. But there are some things I never share- I keep them locked away, deep down. Ignore that door, try and lose the key. No matter how hard I try though, they are always waiting for me. In the same place, the same memories and the same feelings.

It makes me think sometimes, I wonder what someone else is keeping locked away.

I just hope that my sharing helps someone else. Theres a reason for everything right?


  1. I like how you said, "try and lose that key". That's the perfect way to describe those events or memories we have that we desperately wish we could forget. I have a few. I'm sure we all do.

  2. I find it's always easier to open up to someone you dont know. There's not that feeling of being judged which we all dread. We all have our skeletons, you're definitely not alone hon. It's like you say, you putting your story out there could and probably will help someone else out there. And, yeah I believe there is a reason for everything :)