Wednesday, December 22, 2010

In My Humble Opinion (or my ignorant judgements of what I think things should be like. Cause ya know We all know when we know best) Ramblings.

Ok maybe this is just me- but I hate to see when people end relationships.

Now don't get me wrong, there are some relationships that need to end. There are some people that are just toxic together, some people are in abusive situations, some people are manipulative, etc. so forth and so on.

But there are some people who seem to have it all together, or to seem to have a lot of good things going on, but then they hit one molehill and call it quits. I hate to see that happen. Recently I had a friend who broke up with her partner. They had a child together and were living together and trying to make it work as a couple. She decided to end things with him since he never said I love you to her or the baby, he never really spent a lot of time with either of them. But there were no huge fights, there was no infidelity, none of the problems I would associate with a "deal breaker". It just seemed such a shame to me. It was not only the end of a relationship, but the breaking up of a family. I wondered why she couldn't have addressed the issue and tried to work it out together as a partnership instead of saying oh well- it was good while it lasted. Every couple goes through ups and downs, its the natural progression of a relationship. I felt very sad for her and for him and mostly for thier child.

Now don't get me wrong- i KNOW i sound presumptious. I KNOW that I will never understand exactly how my friend felt and what was going on inside of herself that made her decide that ending things was the best option. No one ever understands the inner workings of a relationship except those involved. At the same time though, I couldnt seem to help myself from thinking these thoughts. (or course I kept my opinion to myself since its none of my business and the only thing i can do as a friend is be supportive which I have been doing).

I feel like relationships are viewed as so much more fluid now than in the past. I'm not just talking about marriage here, I'm talking about long term relationships that people are invested in. I dont think that just because someone never got married that it doesn't mean that thier relationship can't be just as involved and mean the same. Or be as devastating when it ends.

I think a lot of this is a result of how the media portrays relationships in popular culture. Its cool to sleep around, its not worth sticking things out for the long run. People are supposed to put themselves first, take care of what thier needs require. While that is important sometimes sacrifice is more important. Thats why I get so annoyed when I see things end between people sometimes. Things aren't always easy, sometimes goodness and happiness require work on the part of both people. I just feel like i see so many people that don't want to put that work in, that don't want to sacrifice thier needs, youth, time, whatever.

Of course i know that I cant stereotype every relationship I come across. There are some that will never work. My parents are a great example. They were married for 22 years and they SHOULD have divorced long before they did. They were not good for each other and it was not good for my sister and I to have to go through thier explosive marriage. They are much happier, fulfilled people divorced than they ever were married. But with divorce rates hovering somewhere around 50% how many times is that the exception instead of the rule?

Anyways I'm getting off of my soapbox now but I wonder what you guys think out there in the blogosphere...have you seen relationships that should have never ended or do you think that there are way too many people that stick it out for the wrong reasons?

1 comment:

  1. I know what you are saying and I have to say that I agree. I think people have started taking marriage lightly. My marriage has not been easy, it is work constantly but it is worth it to me. I love my hubby and I would never even consider divorce unless it was a huge deal breaker. I am sure we could get through anything else with hard work and together. It is so sad when people give up too easily.