A fine soft day

There is a saying here in Ireland, more of a joke really- A fine soft day. That's a phrase used to describe a day with horrible weather.

Ironic huh? Most of Irish humor is heavy on the sarcasm. After living here for a while I get it completely- its easier to make fun of yourselves than whinge and moan all day. (whinge= whine)

Well today? Its very fine and soft indeed.

I woke up this morning and the sun was nearly screaming it was so bright! Its not too often that the sun shines that brightly here and it was such a refreshing change.

I left the house to run a few errands and as I was driving down the road (wearing my new sunglasses....finally!!!) I just kept thinking about how colorful everything looked and how much nicer Limerick looks with a little sunshine!

I obviously didn't take this picture, but see? Looks nice in the sun!

After about a half hour I return home, sun still shining, looking forward to today's great weather.

I sit in the living room with a cup of coffee and after about five minutes I could hear something outside. I pull aside the curtain to see this:

I don't know if you can tell but its POURING out there....

Its absolutely PISSING rain.

Rats.

And it looks like its here to stay.

Double rats.

Just another day of a fine Irish summer. At least I'm working today so I won't have to look at gorgeous weather while stuck inside!

(seriously, I know its super duper hot in the States and it just won't cool down, but I really really wouldn't mind some of that heat and sunshine before summer ends!!)

Time is marching on

I swear everytime I blink its a different month.

I CANNOT believe its August already! I feel like summer just started.

Seriously, it hasn't even gotten hot yet! (I say yet like its ACTUALLY going to get warm. not likely.)

Well so far I've had a pretty good summer. Obviously not one spent blogging.

We went to the states which was great, too fast and already missed.

We traveled a little bit here in Ireland. Which I really need to do more often!

We got a new member of the Taylor family:

Her name is Neko and shes adorable. Shes also very playful and can be a pain in the ass but totally worth having. Never thought I would have a cat but so happy we got her!

I need to upload the Bazillion pictures we took on our various trips and outings on my computer and fill you guys in! (all 2 of you that may actually be interested har de har har)

Also I had hubs change the background of my blog. It was looking sooo HTML-y circa 2004 and it was driving me insane. The picture in the back was this really awesome picture I had taken in Ballybunion (A nice beach here in the west coast of Ireland) but it just looked awful to me as a background on the blog and made it hard to read. So now there are some nice Celtic symbols. Its much better than it was but I'm still not over the moon about it. Perfectionist much?

So hurrah for summer! I hope this last month slows down a bit and I have time to enjoy any and all sunshine we get!

Secret compartments

A couple of month ago I was asked to share an experience about something that happened to me.

It's something that I'm not sure I really want to divulge on here, and I won't. I don't think I'm ready really.

I took about 2 1/2 months to actually sit down and write out a detailed account of what happened and how it has affected me. I've just finished the email and sent it out.

I feel so angry. So angry that after all of this time I'm still so upset, so angry. and so angry that I might always feel this way. I wish I knew how to detach myself more, but I don't think I have that kind of money for the amount of therapy needed.

But what I find strange is that I am able to email a perfect stranger these very intimate details about my life. Things that I would NEVER tell a friend or even talk about with family or in-laws. It feels safer in a way. There is a sense of freedom in anonymity.

I am a very open person, extremely sociable and very talkative. But there are some things I never share- I keep them locked away, deep down. Ignore that door, try and lose the key. No matter how hard I try though, they are always waiting for me. In the same place, the same memories and the same feelings.

It makes me think sometimes, I wonder what someone else is keeping locked away.

I just hope that my sharing helps someone else. Theres a reason for everything right?

Theres a first time for everything...

So today I woke early after a late night (it may or may not have included season 3 of dog the bounty hunter. don't judge.) with anticipation. I had my very first spray tan scheduled this morning!

Now being a woman after a certain amount of time you get used to putting yourself in situations that in normal circumstances would be MORTIFYING all in the name of beauty. I quickly found out that getting a spray tan falls into this set of circumstances.

I was told when I booked my appointment that disposable underwear was provided for you so you dont have to worry about your own getting ruined. I thought great! It will still be somewhat modest enough that my no-no bits will be covered and I wont feel so weird. Well, yes there was underwear provided. kinda. It was pretty much a piece of paper, with string. thats about it. For some reason I was expecting some sort of cover for my chest as well. I dont know why I thought this, but I did.

Anyways, the girl walked me into a small room- basically a little shower room with no shower and a door. She told me to put on the hair cap and the "underwear" and she would be back with the sprayer. So I stood there- awkwardly- staring at the wall (not even a distracting picture to look at) in my little piece of paper and nothing else. I was definitely feeling more than a little embarrassed.

Well so the girl came in and instructed me how to stand and began to spray and holy crap that stuff is COLD. Its like getting a high pressure ice bath...I dont know how those moms on toddlers and tiaras can make their kids go through this! After she was done spraying (two coats people..I'm pretty pale.) I was instructed to stand there and dry. Don't touch anything- including myself. So I stood there...covered in icy cold spray tan, arms held away from my body with nothing on but a piece of paper, staring at a wall. It was probably only about 10 minutes I was left to stand there and dry but I swear it felt like an hour. A long, cold, lack of clothing hour.

Then she came back in to "inspect" (seriously just what I wanted at that moment, a close up) the tan to make sure it was mostly dry and told me I could get dressed (whoo hoo!). It was a pretty uncomfortable experience. I know that these people do spray tans all of the time and see pretty much everything so I try to keep that in mind. It keeps me from being completely humiliated. But I swear if I ran into her in public I would definitely turn around and walk the other way as fast as possible. I would much rather pretend that she exists in another reality where she only does spray tans and doesn't remember what you look like naked and you will never ever run into her in public. ever.

So to wrap all of this up- was it worth it to get the spray tan? eehhh 50/50. I like my legs having a color to them and I will be happy to not be paper white on the cruise- but I really didn't like the process of getting the tan. Maybe I'll make my mind up whether to get another one or not after I see how quickly it fades.

(oh and also I can't shower the sticky spray stuff until tonight or tomorrow morning...having to work tonight not so fun. I'm looking a little splotchy and my shirt is stuck to my back. that definitely goes on the lesson learned/con side.)

Its not me...its my head.

So we are getting ready for our trip to the states. Running errands, buying tons of goodies, sunscreen, clothes that we can wear in warm weather. (basically things we could never wear in Ireland)

I know that one night on the cruise is a fancy dress night- The captains dinner I believe, and that the dress will be formal. Its no problem for me, I actually had thought ahead before I moved from the States to Ireland and had taken a few formal dresses with me- perfect for the trip! Just pick one and pack it away- simples!

Well on Saturday I dragged James into the bedroom with me to go through all of our clothes (not what he likes being dragged into the bedroom for har de har har) since we plan on buying a lot in the states and replacing things that are worn out, have holes, fuzzballs, stains etc. (we seem to get a lot of holes/ discoloration in our laundry. Either we just buy cheap clothing or I suck at doing laundry...) so I wanted to throw out/ give away anything that we didn't want or couldn't wear anymore.

After cleaning out my closet I see the dress hanging up in the back. I decided to go ahead and try it on while I had a moment just to make sure that it still looked good and didn't need to be pressed. I slip it on over my head and asked James to zip it up for me. I've never had any problems with this dress fitting before so I wasn't concerned about fit at all. Well James comes over and starts zipping the dress. He gets about halfway and stops- he says the zipper wont go up anymore. I started to get annoyed and flapping my hands and trying to zip it up myself (which is pretty much impossible at where the zipper was stuck.) to no avail. The zipper was NOT going up.

Lets just say the next 20 minutes were not pretty. There were tears, they may have been ugly tears. I pretty much freaked out. There were threats of not going on the trip, of me never wearing a dress again, or eating ever again. (I think most of us can say we have all been at that place at one time or another....oy.)

Well the next day my good friend Lisa stopped by the house for coffee and a chat before we left for the states. I decided to ask her to see if maybe she could help me with my dress dilemma since girls are trained to handle these kinds of situations. I try the dress back on and Lisa takes about two seconds and the dress is zipped. I felt like a 20 pound weight came off my shoulders. I knew I needed another woman to help me. I love my husband but he does NOT understand how dresses work, or how to latch necklaces or bracelets, or why high heels hurt so much. (obviously, I mean why would he???) This is why I need my sister to be living near by (HINT HINT)!!

anyways yesterday this post really caught my eye. Lin was talking about body insecurities and man they were weighing heavy on my mind this week. I have some major insecurities and it seems like ever since I've moved to Ireland they have been worse than ever. I'm not sure if its being in a new culture or getting older or the fact that I've never had more trouble losing weight than at this time in my life (seriously its been SO FRUSTRATING). The whole dress drama just brought that fresh to the surface. I know that my husband will love me no matter what size I am, I know that I will have friends and the people that matter will accept me however I look. I need to find someway to learn to accept myself the way I accept other people and the way other people accept me. I have to say that I am my own worst judge and the pressure I put on myself doesn't help matters.

I mean, even if the dress didn't fit, even if anything in my closet didn't fit- I shouldn't be in a place that I can be so upset over it. I should be able to be rational about it, and be proactive. Not reactive. I think even if I lost everything I wanted to lose and then some I would still have body issues because the problem isn't my body, its my mind. Its seeing all of these people in the magazines and on television and hearing what woman SHOULD look like instead of reality. I think that I might start working on the mental side of my body for my sanity and I think James's too haha! (poor James, hes so patient!)

Getting ready to go!

We only have one week left until we go home!

I'm just now starting to get super excited and am starting to feel like hurray I'm actually going!!

Today was my last day off work until we leave and so we spent the morning in town going to the Market to check out the stalls and getting lots of presents to give folks back home.

(and a few for myself, what can I say? its like Christmas...one for you....one for me.)


Of course I have to bring back Taytos for people to try ( I don't think we even have the cheese and onion flavor in the states unless I'm remembering wrong) as they are the original Irish crisp. In fact most people don't call them chips or crisps but taytos. I'm also bringing back Barrys Tea, Cadburys hot chocolate (YUM) some Munster Rugby things, Celtic (book of kells letters) book marks, some jewelry, tons of digestives (james just cant have his morning tea without a digestive) and plenty of chocolate (not pictured or purchased yet...gahhh must get on that!)



And of course a little treat for me...some new books to read on the plane ride/ cruise trip. I can't wait! I've been wanting to get my hands on the latest sookie stackhouse book for weeks now!



And lastly- This really doesn't have much to do with this post but I thought it was really funny...I saw this poster while in town today....Obama was a BIG deal for Ireland. So big it even inspired Supermacs....

Talk about cheesy....har de har har...

Is Feidir Linn

Is Feidir Linn- Yes We Can!

Obama came to Ireland this week- Apparently he has ancestors from the sleepy little village of Moneygall. I've been through the village a couple of times because it is on the bus route to Dublin. I have to say I don't remember it at all- its one of those "one-horse" kinda towns.

I listened to the radio in the morning before I headed to work and they spoke to one of Obama's relatives....his 8th cousin....8th!!! Talk about distant. Honestly this whole ancestral connection to Ireland is more about tourism and publicity than it is about Obama finding his roots.

Despite all of this- I thought the visit was great! I thought it was really good for Ireland to have such a positive visit from the U.S. President. Obama gave a great speech and it was really uplifting for the entire country to hear the things that he had to say.

He spoke a little Gaelic which has now become something of a catch phrase over here- Is Feidir Linn- Gaelic for Yes We Can...the Irish have taken that and run with it haha!


Here is Barak and Michelle having a pint of Guinness in a pub (perhaps THE pub) in Moneygall (notice how Michelle is having a half pint...I doubt shes much of a Guinness drinker haha)- apparently Obama drank his down in near record time- much better job than the Queen last week who only took a sip!

This was in the paper the day he was in Ireland....


Failte Abhaile means Welcome Home


And of course.....

The American flag on the reverse side! The real reason why I snagged the poster! I never brought a flag with me when I moved from home which I should have done- but now I have one so alls well!

This also brings to mind that I will be going home in about a week and I am so excited! We will be headed to Florida first and will be going on a western Caribbean cruise. We've never been on a cruise before and I'm kinda anxious but also pretty excited. I hear that after you've been on a cruise you never want to take a regular vacation ever again!

After the cruise we'll be driving up to Virginia to spend the last week with my family and going shopping....lots and lots of shopping. This will be my first time going to the states and exchanging money the fun way.....from euros to dollars. The exchange rate is about $1.40 to the euro so we will be getting a lot of bang for our buck. AND with the United States being WAAAYYY cheaper than Ireland we are going to get as much clothes shopping and supply shopping done as possible!

Also- I'm personally looking forward to really hot days and lots of sunshine. I'm actually looking forward to being uncomfortably hot and possibly getting sunburnt. Neither of these things happen in Ireland very often so I'm going to relish the opportunity back home!

At the moment though I'm still working near full time hours and trying to figure out what to pack exactly and what to bring home for everyone. I'm kinda starting to cut it a little close to leaving time but I'm sure everything will get done in the 11th hour....maybe.